Good evening people. Today I was super paranoid about the SARS thingy... dunno why. I haven't been afraid of it since it started. Must remind myself to trust in God for His protection...

::: Verse of the Day :::
"You will not fear the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday."
"Because he loves me," says the LORD , 'I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.' " | Psalm 91:6 & 14 |

Isn't it great what assurances Christians have in the bible? :-) But the amplified version of the bible has this as a footnote... "The rich promises of this whole chapter are dependent upon one's meeting exactly the conditions of these first two verses"
The first 2 verses say, He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD , "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Interesting isn't it? Hahah. Met up with Matthew in the bus on the way home. Talked to him about more band stuff... We're planning(hoping and praying) to perform at the 3rd Place, Youth Park and also at Oosh... We're aiming to write 5 originals before heading out. We've written 2 songs already. Need to work on them with the band though.

Didn't know that Shaoxiong read my blog... I wonder who else reads? Better watch what I type from now on? hee...

Good evening... Woke up slightly late for church. Thank God my dad called to offer to fetch me to church... Nathan was leading today. It was a good worship... but I had other things on my mind. Kinda like distractions. I wished I knew how to get her back to church. I wished I could do something... God! I don't give two hoots about whether we're together anymore. I just want her to come back to God. Is that too much to ask for? Has she fallen away and forgotten the goodness of God? Or does she simply push Him out of her mind?

I packed her clothes into a plastic bag this morning. Was intending to return it to her today, but she didn't show... It actually hurt as I pulled them out of the closet. I guess its like removing dirt from a wound. It always hurts but its for the better. Life's been getting better. God's been good to me. Just wanna thank all of you who've been there for me. I really thank God for each and everyone of you for your encouragements and understanding. :-)

Had a meeting with Pat (Zone Leader), Gloria (Cell Leader) and Ben (Admin?) after church. Ate at 'Whata Fish'... Discussed about the state of the CG. Feel that our CG has been stagnant for way too long... Made some suggestions on how to kick start our CG again. They agreed with my idea of having a weekly bible study. Another suggestion included having an system of accountability. I think we have to put that on hold because we're all busy with school and projects. I'll try to message them once in a while though... :P

Pat asked me whether I was willing to lead worship for Mega Praise Night. Can you imagine? Me? WOW!!! hahaha... Its really very exciting. Shaoxiong and G.A.S. was the last band to lead. Those are big shoes to fill but I guess I must remember who I'm doing it for. :-)
I feel that a lot of responsibilty is being piled on me because of my new found enthusiasm to do things. I just hope that I don't tire myself out. Have to look to Him for strength.

::: Verse of the Day :::
"For as many as are the promises of God, they all find their Yes [answer] in Him [Christ]. For this reason we also utter the Amen (so be it) to God through Him [in His Person and by His agency] to the glory of God." | 2 Corinthians 1:20 (AMP) |

Good afternoon people. Today has been a weird day. I went to school to finish up my project but when I got there, I found that I couldn't access the database to debug my codes.. I think there were too many people using the server. Sigh... No choice but to submit the buggy codes. Hope I don't do too badly... Its my own fault I guess... Leaving it till the last minute. :P

I just finished recording a song I wrote... Gonna let matt listen to it. I wish I had a nicer singing voice though.

To the anonymous person who commented in my blog:
I do not have all the answers but I do believe that violence is not the way to get things done. I don't believe that innocent people should have to suffer because of some evil people. War is NOT the only solution. It is not a solution for any situation. IT IS NOT RIGHT... There are no two ways about it. Its not my position to say what President Bush should or should not do... because he is in that position for a reason. Just have to pray for him I guess.

::: Verse of the Day :::
"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." | 1 Peter 3:9 |

I haven't been updating regularly these few days... Its that time of the school year where projects are pouring in. I'm having trouble with my ORDS project. I'm really lousy at database stuff... Thanks to Ziig for helping me with the project. I owe you three dinners right? heheheh...

Other than being super busy, life's been peaceful... I guess its because I don't have time to think about things? God's been good. Find that I've been distant from Him these few days. I can feel myself slipping? I don't want to let go of His hand just because I've found out how to walk by myself.
I find that I'm most miserable when I focus on the situation which I'm in. But if I cast my eyes on God, look at the big picture and focus on how to get there, I find that life gets a little more tolerable. Its like cycling... If you want to cycle in a straight line, you look at a point in the distance and make your way towards it. If you cycle while looking at the ground, you're going to start shaking and wobbling about.

Went jamming today... It was alright but I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get to work on our own songs... Couldn't play like I usually do. Felt slow. I think I'm tired. Going to bed now.

GRRrrrrrr........ SICKSICKSICKSICKSICK... I was typing one of my longest posts ever and the computer just shut down on me... Grrr.... I'll just summarise the main points.

I haven't updated for quite a while cos I've been busy with my project, helping Song with his project, meeting up with friends etc... Played basketball yesterday night with Shen, Ziig and Denise. I think I seriously sucked. I think I was still tired from Sunday evening soccer. Song's brother's friends said that I play too aggressively in soccer. I may be aggressive but I believe that I play fair? Its just that soccer is like every other contact sport... Accidents occur and mistakes are made. My team's defenders and keeper were crappy. They were just standing in front of our goal like dodos. Hahah...

Anyway, the worship on Sunday was wonderful... I prepared myself before the service started. I knelt down at the drums and prayed to ask God to keep my mind free from distractions. I told Him that I wanted to play for Him and not to impress anyone else. I wanted it to be a worship to Him. I wanted the worship help the congregation to experience God's presence. And guess what? His presence was undeniable. I don't claim to be the reason why God's presence was so strong but I believe that factors like how right the worship leader and the musicians are with God play a huge part in ushering in the presence of God. After the service, I went around asking how certain people found the service. Got some pleasing comments.
"...could really feel His presence." , "It(worship) was fantastic. The sermon was fantastic too!" , "Very good!"
These are exciting times. I think God is calling certain people to be on fire for Him. Then others will want to catch this fire too! God is great!!! Something great and miraculous is going to happen and I want to be part of it when it does.

I've been struggling about going to school lately. When I sat down to think about it, found that the only reason that I'm going to try to finish my diploma is because I don't want to give others a bad impression of Christians. Don't want people to think that Christians are drop-outs. :P
Really need to discipline myself to spend more time with God. QT these 2 weeks have been anything but regular. Need to put my foot down for certain things...

I went for a haircut with Laifu just now. Actually, he went for the hair cut... I just got mine trimmed. It still looks the same though. $22 down the drain.
Just got this email from Shen's friend Kui Bao (cute name). It says something about music vox looking for 5 resident bands. The bands have to play a certain number of 'gigs' for them. In exchange, the bands will get to use the school's jamming studio. Other than the experience we'll gain as a band and the use of the studio for free, there's nothing great about playing for them... The genres that they allow don't include rock (emo-punk = rock?) so we'll probably have to 'pretend' to be a jazz band or something.
School's out. Going home now.

Good evening everyone... Its been a tiring day. Just finished watching Manchester United vs. Fulham with some of the guys. (Andy, Chris, Nathan.) It was quite fun. Man U won 3-0. Hattrick by Ruud Van Nistelrooy.

Went down to church early to meet up with Andy. Talked more about our expectations on our mentor / mentee relationship. Talked for more than an hour. The turn out for the meeting was not very good. But the worship was simple and so intense. I believe that worship with a small group of people who are hungry for God is so much better than a large group of people. I think that we shouldn't be discouraged by the low attendances for prayer meeting and things like that. Lets be thankful for how strong the presence of God is in a room with expectant hearts.

Street Evangelism was alright... Felt that there was something not right with the response. Can't put my finger on it... Going to sleep now. Playing for church tomorrow.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
I feel it in my fingers.
Feel it rushing down my spine
Your love feeding life around me
Cleansing my sick mind

I feel Your fire inside me
Feel it rushing through my blood
Your life breaking lies that blind me
A revolution deep in love

Its still there.. but its definitely fainter than ever. Like an echo... I'm trying my best. God will honour that. Prayer meeting was fantastic. This has been what I've been wishing for since the last day I went to Rhema. The words 'Back to the Basics' kept coming to me everytime I was worshipping God. Why is it that we feel so at peace when we're worshipping Him, when we're in His presence? Because that is what we are created for... We were created for the SOLE purpose of being worshippers. Anyway, I think that we should have more of this... This is what will bring the people in. This is what would keep them coming back. Have to keep praying for them.

Talked to Andy after prayer meeting. The both of us went to the coffee shop to talk. He challenged me to pray about taking up some VERY HEAVY responsibilities. I roughly know how difficult it would be but I felt a tinge of excitement. I want to pray very hard about this because it is really a huge role to take up. Not something to be taken lightly.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You still my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Just got home from Denise's place... Matt, Ziig, Pam, Denise, Justin and me were there to discuss about the chalet that we'll be having next week. I didn't contribute much to the discussion... :P Denise was showing me her neoprints and photos. There were some of her as well. Those pictures got me thinking again. Made me feel somewhat foolish. I don't know anything about her!! Feel really stupid and useless. Maybe I'm tired, maybe its because schools been hectic or because I haven't spent time with God for quite a while. I dunno.

Let me share about tuesday night. Need to get it off my chest. After the movie with Lynette and Laura. We sent Laura to the bus-stop behind Orchard MRT... Just when Laura was leaving, I turned and saw Eileen with another guy. She hadn't seen me and immediately I focused on her expression and her hands. She wasn't holding hands with him but she was smiling quite happily. Thats when I started to feel a very tight squeeze in my heart. It hurt a lot. I gestured to Lynette but she already saw her and she said, "Isn't that...?"
I said yes.

Thats when she saw us. Thats when the happy smile turned to one of embarrassment. I have this feeling that I wasn't the reason why she was embarrassed. It was because of my sister. Lynette gave one of her 'I'm not pleased with what you're doing' smiles and quickly went down the stairs. I continued walking at my usual pace and smiled. But I couldn't look at her. I didn't want her to see the pain in my eyes. Observed the floor. Had to whisper a prayer to God... Thats when the tightness was released. But there was this sore feeling all the way home... Like after having a cramp. Feeling that cramp again right now. This is when all the questions start pouring in again. I don't want this. Going to spend time with God now. Withdrawal symptoms.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
You've forgotten the words I love you, each memory that we share
You ignore every star above you, I can't realise that you ever cared
You've changed
You're not the angel I once knew, no need to tell me that we're through
It's all over now you've changed

Jamming cancelled today.

::: Quote of the Day :::
"Don't leave Papa... You're risking your life and Mum will find herself all alone with me."
| Rania, 7 year old Iraqi girl to her father who works as a taxi-driver. |

"Oh! U.S. has started attacking Iraq and Iraq says that they're not going to back down."
So Sad... Its so easy to refer to the countries as people. Its so easy to talk about how powerful U.S. is with all of their advanced weaponry and technology.
Its easy to forget the innocent lives that are on the line here. People are scared to death about the war. YES... There are people involved!!!
There's this feeling in my gut that tells me that something unexpectedly bad might happen. That Iraq would do something that the U.S. isn't prepared for. I hope I'm wrong.

I'm amazed at how people can take sides in this situation. For me, I'm just sad that it had to become like this. War is never a good thing, no matter how right or wrong you are. I guess it was coming all along. We're living in the last days? It just like the novel series 'Left Behind' which is based on the book of revelation in the bible. Prophecy in the bible is famous for changing with the circumstances and surprising us. But what is most important now is that God is preparing his church for Christ's return. If the world ended tomorrow, I know where I'd be. Do you?

Yikes... I haven't been sleeping enough for the past week. Going to sleep at 12:45... Or else tomorrow I'll collapse... I drank another 3 bottles of coke today just to stay awake. Needed the caffeine. And I was really thirsty. Was in school for 11 hours today... 8am to 7-ish pm. Had to try to do the ORDS project.Yay!!! Going jamming tomorrow.. Fabian won't be able to make it cos he has projects again. Sigh... Hopefully we can work on our own song(s) tomorrow.

Do you ever wish that you could just know what people were thinking? So that you could have a clearer outlook on life? So that you could feel more in control? I certainly wished I could. But the more I think about it, the more I think that things are fine just the way they are. Where would the excitement of life be if everything was known? Life would be so mundane and boring. Haha... I guess it has its pros and cons.

Shucks... Its 12:55 already.. Gotta go to bed. Goodnight.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
All the promises we break
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

Feeling lost for words right now. I'm so tired. Haha... Physically, Mentally and Emotionally drained. So many thoughts rushing through my head. Felt that things happened a little too quickly. But I'm not complaining. :)

Going to sleep now. I need time to register what happened today. Roller-Coaster Emotions.

Good afternoon... Here I am again in the Year 1 Java labs. Its a blogging lab... muahahah. Just finished discussing my project with my group members. They're a crazy bunch. I feel like I haven't been contributing much though. Time to make myself useful.

Been thinking about my situation. Really don't want do anything for the wrong reason. Dunno how or what to think.
Denise: Too much information. I feel like I can't write anything. Ha!

I'm going out with my sister and cousin for a movie later. Have to rush down after school ends at 6pm. The movie starts at 6:45pm. Hope I won't be late. We're watching 'Cradle 2 the Grave' Wasn't really keen on that movie but Laura seems to be really enthusiastic about that movie. I wanted to catch 'the pianist'. Maybe I'll watch that alone this friday. heheh. I've decided that every friday shall be Darylday. Maybe to the airport or to a movie or just sit in fast-food restaurant and read or just find someplace quiet to spend time with God. I think its a good idea. :-)

"Oh no!!! He's going nuts!!!"
I don't think so. I feel that its good to be alone sometimes. It helps me think more clearly. Especially time spent with Him. I feel that as long as I don't take it to extremes (Shaving my head and locking myself in my room to meditate for 3 years.) I'll be alright.
Tell me if anyone notices any negative effects k? hahaha...

Heylo world... I'm in school now. Yes... Go ahead and laugh at my misery... :p Haha... Back to the drudgery of school. I thank God that He's with me though... After the the term test 2 weeks ago, I sort of knew that I wouldn't do well. I had been struggling with another area that He wanted me to release to Him. Anyway, I didn't study for the tests. Whats more, I felt that I wanted to go to bible school instead. Guess I have to be faithful and disciplined with the little things first. Getting my life in order. Its just like being in the worship band. Being skillful with an instrument isn't the most important thing in being in a worship band. But it does help you if you don't have to constantly think about what to play next. Allows you to focus on God rather than your instrument.

Getting back to the point... I feel that these 4 years or so will prepare me for whatever God wants me to do. Sort of like doing well in my life so that I can concentrate on how to serve others. Its strange but I keep having the impression that some people might think that I'm some sort of religious freak. Wouldn't you be raving about Him if He did this much for you too? :-) Asked God to help me to motivate myself to put effort in my school work. And He promptly gave me a situation to practice that. I had to go look for the teacher and ask her to comment on my group's ERD diagram by myself cos I was the only one who was free. Being the slacker that I am, naturally I didn't want to do it. But I thank God that He made me realise that I had to put in effort to change myself. So I did.

Talked to Denise on the phone just now. Feel slightly guilty for gossiping. haha... SLIGHTLY. Been thinking about certain people. A lot of questions popped up. I need to examine the reason why I'm in this.

::: Verse of the Day :::
"If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." | Matthew 7:11 (NLT) |

Good afternoon world... Just came back from Church. Today's practice was very fast. Patsy Cameneti spoke today... About how some people react wrongly to bad situations. The things they do drive them further away from the answer. I thank God that I had family & friends around me to encourage me not to turn away from God. You can sense a difference when she speaks. She knows what she's talking about. She's experienced it and she really wants to share it with everyone. Its so exciting. :)

Dunno why I'm not feeling very tired now. I went to this club called 'double-O' last night and didn't get home till 3? Slept at around 4-ish... Woke up at 10:15am to go to church. 'Double-O' was fun. The music was lame, retro and crap like that, but it was still enjoyable. Despite certain situations, I had a good time.
I was struck by her eyes and her smile. I'm not ashamed to admit it... I am attracted by her. Certain moments keep replaying in my mind. I dunno anything else about her and I dunno whether I should find out. Its not time yet daryl... Be patient.

Pam said something yesterday at Raimah that I didn't realise.She said, "At least this means that you're moving on." Am I? Is there a small part of me that still wants Eileen back? I don't think so... I think I have gotten over her. She didn't come to church again. Its amazes me. How can someone who knew and tasted of God's goodness, just give it up for what she's living now? I don't understand. But its not for me to judge. I'll just have to keep praying for her.

::: Verse of the Day :::
"David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters. But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God." | 1 Samuel 30:6 |

Sad... Today was the last day. Feel sad that I won't be able to attend Rhema Bible School anymore. I really enjoyed the 3 days there and I look forward to studying there next time. I really want to join up when the new school year starts in August. Thats when Lynette would be joining. But I have to finish up my school. I guess its a way of learning discipline? I believe that next time when I'm serving God, there'll be lots of things that God would want me to do and I'll have to be obedient no matter how I feel... Watched a video with Kenneth Hagin Junior speaking about practical aspects of serving in the ministry. He said its not as just reading and studying God's Word. It means being available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to serving God's people. And he went on to talk about all the negative (realistic) aspects of serving in the ministry. I wasn't turned off by it. I feel that if God calls me, He'll help me get through all those times.

::: Verse of the Day :::
'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.' | 2 Corinthians 12:9 |


Felt God speaking to me when Patsy Carmaneti was sharing about the presence of God. I was asking Him 'what happened to the people who just wanted to experience your presence? What happened to just spending time with God and seeing Him do miracles and seeing people slain in the Spirit?' I saw all this when I was a young boy. Why don't I see it anymore? What happened to the carefree, unashamed display of love to God? Why am I asking all these questions? You knew of His goodness too. Ask yourself, daryl...
I feel that something needs to be done about this. Thought about church camp. Need to air my thoughts. I'll talk to Andy about it tomorrow.

Hello world... Just got home. I've been thinking about going to Hard Rock Cafe for a gig. Don't think I'll be going now. Firstly, nobody accompanying me. Secondly, I think it might be weird to see her if she's working there and I'm there alone. Thirdly, I have to wake up early for bible school tomorrow. Therefore, I won't be going. Maybe its good that I'm not going. Maybe next week when plain sunset is performing. Hopefully there'll be people who'll accompany me. Bible school was fun again. Just felt very drowsy during prayer school. Cos it was after lunch and I'd eaten alot. Tomorrow is going to be the last day that Lynette and I are allowed to sit in for the classes. Sad. I'll really miss the teachings. Can't wait till after army. :P Going to have my dinner now.

Good evening again... I'm feeling really good now. I've found what I want to do with my life. I'm going to serve God... I dunno how and I dunno when but I know eventually I will. I went to Rhema today. It felt SOOOO right being there. It felt so right just to be in the company of those who wanted to learn about God. The teachers were also so dynamic!!! You can see that they have really experienced God. You have to be passionate about God so that others can catch the fire? It can be seen in the way you act, the way you speak and even the way you look.

Went to church just now for some ministry equipping meeting... I feel really excited about whats going to happen in the church but I still don't think I'm ready to serve that high up. Preparation period now... :-)

Was at King Shen's house again today... Didn't do much about the song. I wrote 2 verses on the spur of the moment based on what I remembered on other songs that I've written. Going to do quiet time before I sleep... Need the rest. Goodnight...

::: Verse of the Day :::
"People who accept correction are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore it will lead others astray." | Proverbs 10:17 (NLT) |

Good evening everyone... I'm going to bed very soon. Hafta wake up early tomorrow to go to Rhema Bible School... I'll be sitting in for 3 days... So fun!!! The bad thing is I'll have to wear long sleeved shirt with tie and pants. I don't like dressing up like that. bleah!

Hope I won't be too tired tomorrow. Soccer was quite tiring today... My whole body starting to ache and I like it!! Scored 5 goals today... 3 of them were powerful shots... the other two were lucky.

Click here to read an article from Today about President Bush. Hope he doesn't do anything that will spoil the image of Christians or of Christ... :P Thats the problem with being so high up. You get scruntinised.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
You wanted the best, it wasn't me, will you give it back
Now i'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive, is this what you want
Is this what you need, how you end up let me know.

It seems so surreal, now I sing it.
Somehow I knew that it would be this way,
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade.
Now i'm gone, just try and stop me now.

Heylo world... Just woke up half an hour ago. Slept quite late. At 5 am. Hung out with Ziig and Pam last night at the shelter near the community centre. Talking, singing and playing guitar. hahaha. It was fun...
To Pam: Please stop?

Anyway... I went to Tecman again yesterday. Bought the amplified bible... I feel soooo satisfied now. heheh. Also found another book by Joshua Harris. He's the guy who wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". I can't remember the title. Its something about courtship. No... I don't have anyone in mind. Just think that its good to know. :P Cos I kinda forgot how to. Hahaha...

Spent a long time at King Shen's house yesterday. So many people were in his room. Shen, Maha, Matt, Ziig, Pam and Nurul. Cheng and Denise came later. We were supposed to be there to write our own songs... But ended up playing Playstation 2 for quite awhile... The game was called "Devil May Care 2" Its kinda cool. We did finally get to making our own song. Used one of the tunes that I came up with. You know whats irritating? People keep saying, "Eh.. it sounds like that song by..." Its not like I'd go copy a song.. :-(
Nevermind... I'll just come up with more tunes then. It felt good to see my creation materialising. There's this sense of pride. Not arrogance. Just happy that we achieved something. Matt didn't use my lyrics though... I don't mind. I feel that my lyrics are quite personal too. Don't know if he can sing them with the same emotion I wish to portray. I need to stop writing about myself... Hee... Its getting boring.

So far so good... I haven't had a depressive thought about her since friday. Its not that I don't wish to think about her. Just find it easier for me to think about other things. Thank God for helping me with this. I've been continuing to pray for her.

::: Verse of the Day :::
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. | Psalm 118:8 |

Today was a tiring day. Played soccer with Matt, Song and Song's brother and his friends... It was quite fun. I think I got a little bit too competitive. Played quite aggressively. :P Scored 2 goals. I headed the first in from a cross from Song. The second came after a nice one-two with Song. Hahaha.

I heard some more things about her. I'll have to pray for her even more now. I think God's been preparing me the whole of last week for today. I think I'm not as affected as I could have been... Which is good. Another layer is being peeled off. Its painful but I thank God that its a time for me to learn and change. I've decided to stop thinking about her. I mean I'll try... This few months, there have been so many trials. But I thank God for them because after I successfully get through one, it makes me stronger and He helps me prepare for the next one.
I wished I'd taken more notes during sermon today. Reverend Tony Tan was inspiring today. In one of his points, he talked about submitting to God. He said, "When you submit to God, you stop asking 'Why?' and start asking 'When?' "
When will I be ready? When will the pain leave?

I think the reason I needed to stop loving her is finally here. Its sad but at least I can move on. God will provide for everything. I don't need to worry about rubbish...

::: Quote of the Day :::
If I have to fight to gain it, I'll have to spend my whole life fighting to keep it.

Good evening.. Just got back from my aunt's house. She has a really nice place!!! I really like it... :P Had a nice worship. I played guitar. There was this corner in her house that I really found facinating. The walls didn't meet at 90 degree angles. It was a cool corner. Haha...

Spent most of the day in church today. Started at 8am... Played guitar for the worship. Stayed in church till 11:15am.. Went to meet Matt, Ziig, Cheng and Denise for mee pok. Went home to take a nap after lunch. Went back to church at 2:30 for a seminar by the Navigators. To be honest, it was super boring... 3 and a half hours of slow tedious repetitive facts that I already know. I was only interested in the part where they showed how to lead a bible study discussion.

Its late.. hafta wake up early to go church... Doing quiet time with some of the CG people. Oh yah!!! Thanks for your comments! You guys(girl) made my day... Goodnight!

::: Verse of the Day :::
The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest and in His love. He will be silent and make no mention of past sins. He will exult over you with singing. | Zephaniah 3:17 |

Good morning world. Felt really lousy yesterday. So didn't update... Today's test was bad... Its not a subject which I'm weak in but I just didn't study enough... :P Went to the airport after the test... Wanted to have a personal retreat...again. Had lunch at burger king. Barbecue Turkey Bacon Double Meal... Just try saying that. Dunno why they named it so long...

After lunch I made my way to the viewing mall.. Read the bible a bit and prepared for 'word' a bit... Learnt something from the bible. In proverbs 5:19, it says be intoxicated, exhilarated, captivated by her love. I was. But then in Songs of Solomon it says do not awaken love until it is ready... Its repeated 3 times.
Too soon... Now it might be too late.

As I was contemplating these thoughts, a groups of JC freshies came and plonked themselves 5 metres from where I was sitting... At first I was irritated by their presence, they were quite noisy. But they started playing games and doing forefeits which were quite funny... Some of them included rolling on the floor, asking strangers for the time while wearing 4 watches. The killer one was when one guy had to kiss another guy. It was a bit lame... It could have been over and done with in 2 seconds. Instead he complained and argued for about 15 minutes... Which reminds me of myself? I wonder how things might have been if I hadn't fought and struggled so hard... Maybe thats why God told me one year? He knows thats how long I'd take to get better? Anyway, there was this girl that attracted my attention... She was quite cute. For a few moments, I wondered what it'd be like having another girlfriend. How nice it'd be to be loved again. How nice it'd be to hold someone again. I considered approaching her and asking for her phone number. I would have done it... 2 things stopped me. The promise and thoughts of Eileen. It'd never be the same. I refuse to believe that love is replaceable. Not unless there is a good reason to do so. (eg. She gets married or does something super wrong)

Spent about 7++ hours at the airport... I'm enjoying these times alone with God. Felt so at peace after that. Went to meet Matt, Shen, Cheng and Denise at Raimah at about 9pm.. After dinner we went to the community centre to play basketball. Yesh, you read right... Me, daryl, played basketball... hahaha. We beat this group of basketball players. They were wearing the gear and everything. Imagine losing to a team with me in it... HaAHaHahaha... Losers.

It was a fun day. Really enjoyed myself. Have to go sleep soon... Hafta wake up to go to church tomorrow at 8am.. Playing for some meeting. Goodnight... Everyone repeat after me, "God... Is... Good..."

Daredevil was alright... Not fantastic. A bit exaggerated though... I'll give it 2.5 out of 5. And another 0.5 for Jennifer Garner... Haha. Anyway, had a really really good chat with Andy after the movie... Talked about lots of things. (Eileen, XS ministry, Bible study)
He really encouraged me and we found that God was speaking to the both of us about certain things as we affirmed each other. God has been good...

I still believe in love... I still believe that there's something there. I believe that its not all gone... Love.
Love
L O V E
Eileen....

::: Lyric of the Day :::
I'm reminiscing on your tenderness and the snuggling and teasing
Missing what I remember, I'm having trouble when breathing
It's even tougher when sleeping
But there's a couple of reasons that I'm suffering and grieving
For loving and leaving, you're all I'm thinking of in the evening
You got my knees buckling and weakening
The way your lips sparkle and glare in the sun
You got your hair in a bun, no matter what you're wearing you stun
Cause your comparing to none, I wanna share in the fun
I feel a passion when I'm imagining just us alone at last with a touch
I see you grasping to trust, but my intentions are good
I'm not asking to rush and answer immediately
I just wanna be there for you and you to be there for me
If you agree to repeat after me, I Love You (I love you baby)
Cause I just need you to see, how much I'm eager to be
Your man legally wed, your love's keeping me fed
This is easily said, so you can lead or be led
If you care to be down cause ain't nobody Like you no where to be found

Good morning... Just woke up. No school for today and tomorrow. I'm going to meet Andy later to watch 'daredevil'. Meeting him at 2:30pm in Orchard.

I dreamt about her again this morning... It was so real. I was with my dad... in Malaysia or something... then she was in the car too... we were talking. then suddenly we were at a void deck. We were holding hands and hugging. Then she asked... "Are you staying single because of me?" I think I said "no"... When I woke up and thought about it I should have said "yes". But I made the promise to God... so honoring God is also part of the reason...

I'm cracking up... Really. Someone ask her for me!!!

Evening... Just got back from soccer. Only played for an hour today cos the China guys wanted to play basketball. Boring... The test was quite bad. I didn't know how to do it. I'm surely gonna fail this one. Just have to work harder for the project.

I watched 'Catch me if you can' after the test. By myself... It wasn't that bad. Watching movies alone can be quite enjoyable... I might be doing that more often in the future... I liked the movie. Very solid storyline... I would give it 4 out of 5.

I met up with Eileen for a short while to pass her something after the movie... Waited for her for about half an hour. haha... just like old times... I spent the time praying. :P Anyway, we talked for a while. She had to go meet Jordan. I walked her to the station then i went home... Didn't want to look at him.

I'm living in a fantasy... A dream. Wishful thoughts... I don't even dare ask where I stand in all this... I think its better that I don't. I don't want to be one of them.
ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Spunky is in pain now... He got bitten by a golden retriever alsatian this morning while he was taking his walk. Poor dog... Its quite serious. Had to go to the vet for stitches... The owner of the other dog paid for the vet fee...

Read the lyrics below... Maybe you'll understand how I feel. I might watch a movie tomorrow... Depends on how I feel... I've never watched a movie by myself in my life. Wonder how it'll be...

::: Song of the Day :::
I fight this with two closed fists
under a purple sky
naked trees are clawing for the air
this won't pull on emotions
but it's something to do
go ahead, try it
if you dislike, refunds at the door
i always fell for the sucker punch
i confess the changes
maybe i'm growing up
from the shoes on my feet
to the words in my mouth
i'll remain transparent
and while you speak in codes, i'll speak in spirit
i tasted, i did that, now i'm hooked

The test today wasn't that difficult... I think I might have a chance to pass... thanks for your prayers! :P I've been sitting in front of the computer since I got back from school... I want to spend time with God but I can't seem to get off my butt... Maybe after a few more songs.

Today I was acting crazy after the tests... I dunno why I said all those things. I'll never actually be able to do it. Things like this cannot be replaced...
DARYL!!! leave it there... Don't pick it up again.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed

Good morning people... Just a quick update. Have term tests this week. Haven't really studied. Don't think I'll do well for the tests. Gotta go prepare now... Not feeling 'right'.

Good evening... She's on my mind. I can't help it... Need to spend time with God. I'll be alright... I think...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
This pencil knows my thoughts
my countless battles fought
The futility of my struggle?
in the issues of this world

I hold this romance in my hands
reluctant to release my precious gold
The thrill of the memory could kill
Still, I reminisce in my sleep

Is it really so pointless
I ponder the purpose of my existence
My prized possession, removed.
Is all that remains adequate for You?

In spite of the odds, I've made it through
and I'm forever thankful for You.
But this bitter taste stays
raise me from my grave
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Yup yup... Today we were supposed to be in church at 10am but we left the house at 10:02am... Late late late. I'm played drums today. Worship was good... I said a prayer to offer my playing as a worship to God and I think I played better... I didn't follow all the stops though... :P
Glad that Eileen came to church today. Really thank God for answering prayers... Just have to keep on praying...

The Festival Of Praise yesterday was good... The whole stadium was filled with His presence and I think Song could feel it as well... It was wonderful. I think the next thing that God wants me to learn is to keep others saturated in prayer. I'm praying for people who are close to me like Matthew, Song, my family and Eileen. And others whom I'm not keen on praying for like Raymond and Jordan. I really don't wish to pray for them but I know Jesus would. So I will too..

Jesus freak? I hope so... You won't know what it is to burn until you're burning for Him too... Trust me. 2 years ago. I was cynical of people like myself. Lets put it this way... If God isn't real, watch me crash... If He is, watch me burn for Him.

::: Quote of the Day :::
"Sometimes I feel myself wanting to dig up the past and go back to where I feel regret... It's hard to move on from a certain place in your life, but sometimes its the struggle to do it that gets you to where you need to go."

Good afternoon.. Went to church at 9am to attend the sermon on "Entering into the Glory of God" It was interesting but slightly overwhelming... There were some parts where I couldn't take in because Stanley was going to fast. He gave quite a lot of scriptural references. Its quite obvious that he's been studying the bible alot! He really covered many things in depth!

Anyway, I heard something else about Eileen today. Which is another answer to prayer. Its amazing how simple it is to follow God. You take one step of obedience and He reveals whats the next step you need to take.

Man, I'm tired... I'm going to take a nap soon... There's Festival.Of.Praise later.